I'm baaaaaack.

"Are you writing?" Gavin asks me this every so often, and usually the answer is "not really" or "not enough". He asks this because he knows that it helps me to manage my mind that is constantly working. It helps to just get things on paper sometimes. Most of you understand this I am sure, and for those of you who don't, writing can be as theraputic as a long run, or good conversation...or whatever you do that helps you center yourself. Not to be too "yoga-y" but that is basically what it does for me. Helps me manage my thoughts, helps me see things that seemed like a really big deal as not so much so, or helps me see how vitally important certain things are...

So, i am going to try and blog again. It has been almost a year since my last attempt and if this one doesn't work, it just may not happen. But, Gavin and i have now entered the 21st century and own a working computer so that should make things a bit more doable. also, my blog is a closed blog because it really weirds me out that any old jo could read this stuff, so if you want in, you gotta ask.

I am in my fourth week of classes. My second bachelors for those who need reminding. It's been a rather bumpy beginning. I have to remind myself that i chose to subject myself to the perils of another degree because sometimes i resent my professors for actually thinking i could possibly care about ancient greek instruments or the first version of polyphony. (if you don't know what polyphony is, don't worry...just know you've heard it)...I do have a few classes i love, and they serve as very helpful reminders as to what it is i am doing here. Since last november i have been performing non-stop, and it has been wonderful. Nothing on this planet besides my close relationships, is so clear and real to me as getting to communicate through plays, musicals, oratorio etc. It doesn't even make sense to me how perfect a fit it is for me to do what i amattempting to do. You often hear actors talk about how lucky they are to be in this business and how they are compelled to do it; how they have the greatest job in the world. That is because most of them probably really feel that way. I have been in some really crappy shows, I have been in some really quality shows, but in all of them you will be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't want to be there. This fact is most obvious because in many cases for live theatre you are not getting paid. This summer was my first experience of being paid for live theatre and to me it just felt like a bonus. Imagine your favorite thing to do... No really think for a minute about the thing you most enjoy doing.....Good. Now imagine someone paying you for it! That is how i continue to revive myself in this absurd career path that is filled with rejection and competition and insincerity and long hours. I know that things could change and God could steer me in a different direction. In a lot of ways i ignored how strongly this desire pressed on me for several years... and now God hasgraciously given me opportunity, desire, ability and people who support me...These things i do not take for granted. I prayed for them all for a long time and now it delights me to work on my craft and pursue excellence. I hope that it will always be to his glory. I hope i will always be aware of the responsibility and weight that "show biz" puts on people, especially christians. But i am so confident that this is my calling. Doesn't mean it won't change, but until that time, i consider myself lucky to love something this much.

To finish,I love these shoes and had to put their picture up.