Lord of the Rings

Gavin and and I are watching Lord of the Rings tonight and it remined me of my senior year of high school when i was deathly ill with mono and somehow convinced mom and dad to let me go see the midnight showing of this movie with Andy and, I believe, Mark Holyfield. Afterwards i couldn't even go to sleep because i was so profoundly impacted by some of the themes in the film. I can rememeber sitting in my bed at 4:30 in the morning, puffy and swollen from the mono, totally energized by the idea that we as people of God are part of a bigger story...a story that is far beyond our own imagining...My senior year in particular i felt really antsy and wrote a lot of poems about adventures and traveling and experiencing something totally "other". So the bigger purpose that little Frodo was meant to do struck a chord in me i guess.

memory of the day

today, all day, in every class, i remembered that i hate school There you go, hows that for nostalgia.

Sometime in the sixth grade

My next memory comes to you from a time in my life when i was in love with Blake Atchison. I remember venturing out into our woods behind the house, with mom's hunter green barn coat on...( i loved that coat, i think it made me feel rustic) taking my journal out there (pretty sure it was drizzly and gray which really helped set the tone.) I began to write poetry. Sappy, dramatic poetry that was way more intense than my actual feelings for Blake. I sat writing, imagining a tragic life filled with deep sorrow and great joy that ended with me dying in Blake's arms just as he realizes he loves me, when suddenly i spotted a large flat rock on the ground! Nothing like etching your love in stone, thought i, so i etched into the rock " I Love Blake". I felt somehow like this validated my 'love' for him...i must really mean it if i am willing to carve it in stone...

A few months later, Joseph found it in the woods and made fun of me for it...which i deserved. Oh yea, and i really did write a short story about me dying Blake's arms...only it was set in the 1700's, and i am pretty sure i borrowed a lot of the plot from Sense and Sensibility.

September 1993

This first memory was conjured up because of the beautiful fall day today...Beautiful, but sometimes fall can make me feel, as Gavin would say, "achy."
It was the day that Becca left for Auburn. well, I can't really remember if it was the actual day she left, or at some point during the time that mom and dad were away taking her. I was staying with the Gilmans i think. I was wearing my purple basketball t-shirt and heading to the Festival of the Arts in the back of the Gilman's fifteen passenger van. I remember Cassie trying to talk to me about what boys did i think would be at the Festival...(which was most definitely the social highlight of the year for us at that point in life.) Anyways, it is a bit of a sad image because i remember so vividly turning my head toward the window, and trying to hide the fact that i was crying. It was the time of day, four or five in the afternoon, in which the lighting has always felt very meloncholy to me. I remember feeling so isolated, and resenting all my friends who wouldn't care. Sad day. Hopefully these all won't be sad.

The memory project

Today when i was driving, i caught a glimpse of my hair in the rearview mirror...it was totally greasy and gross and i had this flash of a memory of what my hair looked like in the sixth grade...waaay too long, butt cut (which are kinda back in), and usually topped with a backwards hat. I also got a bit of a warm fuzzy thinking about mom's gracious parenting in not forcing me to cut it...or for that matter, drop the soccer shoes, loose the the knee high athletic socks, and take off one of my five t-shirts. Maybe she comforted herself with the knowledge that she had four more daughters... Anyway, it gave me the idea to start blogging about random memories. No real rhyme or reason to it, just memories as they come to me. They may be full blown stories, or just little moments, or smells that evoke certain feelings. Enjoy.